Personality and Sleep.

As a Sleep Coach and a parent, I’ve learnt that no two children are the same when it comes to sleep. My own journey with my sons, William and Thomas, has taught me valuable lessons that I bring to my work with other families. Their unique personalities, needs, and challenges have shaped my approach to sleep coaching and reinforced the importance of tailoring strategies to each child. 

William, my eldest, is now 8 years old. From an early age, he showed us he was a ‘spirited’ child – full of energy, sensitive and highly attuned to his surroundings. Sleep did not come easily to him. In fact, William didn’t consistently sleep through the night until he was 4 years old. 

With William, I quickly realised that winding down was the key to helping him settle. A one-size-fits-all bedtime routine simply didn’t work. I had to craft a routine that allowed him to decompress in his own way. This included dimming the lights, incorporating quiet activities like reading or listening to audiobooks, and ensuring a calm, predictable environment. 

Building William’s confidence in sleeping independently was a slow process. He needed gradual changes and reassurance that he was safe and capable of falling asleep on his own. At the same time, too much support from me (like stoking, shushing) would only stimulate him and keep him awake. It was a delicate balancing act between giving him the reassurance he needed and gently encouraging his independence.

William now loves sleep and asks to go to bed. But this didn’t come quickly or easily. It took time, patience and consistency. 

Thomas, my youngest, its now 5 years old and has always been much more of an adaptable child. From early on, he showed a more relaxed personality (despite having oodles of energy and being very cheeky!), which made sleep training at 6 months a smooth process. 

Thomas responded well to a more straightforward approach to sleep. He thrived on a consistent bedtime routine, and was comforted by my presence when he needed support. Over time, he gradually developed the ability to self-soothe and sleep through the night. 

That said, Thomas is currently in a stage where he craves connection before bed. I’ve found that giving him some dedicated one-on-one time before lights out (where he talks me through his day) helps him feel secure and ready to sleep. His journey has reminded me of the importance of adjusting routines as children grow and their needs evolve. 

  1. Every child is unique: what works for one child may not work for another. William needed a slow and steady approach, while Thomas adapted quickly to a structured routine. 
  2. Patience is key: building healthy sleep habits takes time, especially for children like William who are more sensitive and spirited. Rushing the process can backfire. 
  3. Connection matters: even as children grow older, their emotional needs remain a critical part of their sleep success. A few moments of connection before bed can make a big difference. 
  4. Adaptability is crucial: sleep routines are not static. As children grow, and their personalities develop, their sleep needs and challenges change too. 

My personal experiences with my sons have not only deepened my empathy for other parents but also enhanced my ability to create bespoke Sleep Plans. Over the years, I’ve worked with more than 100 babies and children, each with their own unique temperament and challenges. This wealth of experience, combined with what I’ve learnt from William and Thomas, allows me to approach each family with understanding, creativity, and confidence. 

Sleep coaching is not about finding a one-size-fits-all solution. It’s about recognising the individuality of each child and family, and crafting a plan that works for them. My own children have shown me that sleep is as much about emotional wellbeing and connection as it is about routines and methods. 

Whether your child is spirited like William, easygoing like Thomas, or somewhere in between, there is always a way forward. And, as a Sleep Coach, I’m here to help you find it. If you would like to explore this in more detail, set up your free Discovery Call. I’d love to meet you!